As I near the end of my first book on my required reading list for my first semester of my hopefully long seminary career (even though it hasn’t even started yet) I am overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by what little understanding I have of God’s amazing grace. In my arrogance I thought I saw the big picture, I thought I had come so far in my spiritual maturity. What God has revealed to me this evening in my reading is that I am but a toddler. I am a toddler just learning to walk. Just as I make the leap of faith in myself and let go of that piece of furniture and take my first steps across the vastness of a living room, I fall flat on my face. I get back up and take off again, learning from my last fall, and after a step or two, make it a little farther across the room before falling yet again. My wobbling toddler gait slowly giving way to sure footed steps, past falls forgotten, but future ones still sure to come.
This evening my false assumptions have been laid bare. Thanks to a book titled The Call authored by Oswald Guinness, my initial assumptions about why God has given me this calling into full-time ministry have been revealed for the conceit that they were.
I have not been “called” because I am worthy. I am not worthy of anything.
What I am is…. loved.
God loves each and every one of us in this way. None of us more worthy than the other.
“16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.” – John 3:16